Not Good; Not Good at All

My righteousness was certainly filthy rags today. The real pain of it is that I knew it was going to be. I put off calling the credit card company because something just told me I was going to get mad. And even though I prayed that the Holy Spirit would guard my tongue and keep me calm, I lost it.

I knew they would argue with me about cancelling because I tried to cancel last year, and I had allowed that woman to talk me into keeping the card. This year I was prepared! I called August 25 and asked that the card be cancelled on August 30, the day before the annual fee would be charged. The guy tried to stop me. He gave me all kinds of reasons not to cancel (just like the woman last year did), but I stood firm. Finally, he said okay. My new card had already come in the mail, but I hadn't activated it. So when August finished, I dusted my hands off and said, "There. That takes care of that!"

But it didn't. I got my last statement, and on it was the annual fee. Also on it was a charge on Sept. 2. I knew I hadn't charged anything on that date because I thought the card was cancelled. So I looked back in my email records and found I had charged to that online store on August 23. Aha! They were trying to trick me, but they didn't know who they were dealing with!!!

The long and short of it is, the man called me a liar on the phone today; said their records showed no phone call from me since 12/09 and therefore, I would have to pay the fee. Well, I didn't yell exactly, but my voice rose a little bit. After all, I wanted to be sure he heard me say I didn't appreciate being called a liar and that I had indeed talked to a young man six weeks ago, and I had thought my card was cancelled and he could just check his records and see that I hadn't charged anything in six weeks and that was not normal activity for me!

I got nowhere with him. And I ended up feeling so raunchy about the way I had handled my feelings. Why did I think the world would act in a Christian manner if I couldn't? Isaiah 64:6 says, "all our righteous acts are like filthy rags." Filthy rags. The Bible is talking about the unclean rags that have menstrual blood all over them. Yeah, that's what my so-called righteousness looks like.

Oh Jesus, thank you for pouring Your blood over me and making me to become righteous in God's eyes. "God made him who had no sin to become sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God" (2 Corinthians 5:21). I'm just a sinner, saved by grace. Hallelujah, what a Savior!